When I was a little girl we joined the Orthodox synagogue. We always sat in the back because my parents were lower-middle-class, so they could only afford what they could afford, and it seemed as though it was a three-ring circus. There was a lot of activity going on that wasn’t even somber. I remember feeling a void in my heart. Looking at my father through welled eyes of tears, and I even sensed that even back then, God was speaking to my heart back then and I couldn’t express it. My mom was up there, my dad was there, but whatever comfort they gave me it wasn’t gonna fill whatever it was in my heart.

I was probably one of the only Jewish children in my grade school bringing my sandwiches on Passover…Matzah with peanut butter and jelly. On Monday everybody was friendly to me, on Tuesday everybody was friendly to me, but by Wednesday I was called a Christ killer. Christ-killer? I didn’t kill anybody! Who was Christ? Kids were taunting me and making fun of me. Anti-semitism is rampant and it begins very young.

I was in sales, I was selling copiers and I walked into an office of five men. They were all kind to me, they listened to what I had to say, “Let’s go to lunch. My cousins have a delicatessen around the corner”. “Delicatessen?” “What religion are you?” I said, “I’m Jewish” and he said, “Well so is Larry, the owner of the firm.” Over lunch he said, “You know I’m a Messianic Jew?” and I said, “Messianic Jew? What’s that?” Larry was sharing with me about Jesus from my Holy Scriptures and he shared a Bible verse with me: “All of us like sheep have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way, but the Lord has taken the iniquity of us all on Him.” Bing! I got it. There’s always been something curious in my heart about Jesus. I was taught that he was Jewish, that he was a good man, maybe a prophet, but that I am Jewish, and I am NOT to believe.

My father was Orthodox. I come from a line of rabbis on that side of the family. The Shema, “Hear O Israel, the Lord our God the Lord is one” was our prayer every week, and so I said to Larry, “What do I tell my father?” They shared with me a Psalm, Psalm 22, where Jesus says, “My God, my God,  why have you forsaken me? I can count my bones, my tongue cleaves to the roof of my mouth.” At that moment I knew: That’s Jesus in my Holy Scriptures! My past teaching about Judaism came into full light. It was as though I understood and that it was okay for me to be Jewish and believe in Jesus.

I know that I am the author of all the wrongs.  We are people that need help and Yeshua is salvation, help, save me! And I keep coming back to Isaiah 53:6 “All of us like sheep have gone astray. Each has turned to his own way,” and yet the Lord laid his life down as God’s servant, as a suffering servant, and that was one of the biggest keys that I, as a Jew, needed to really solidify within my own heart. He was on the cross, he died in my place so that I could live the exchanged life in eternal life, and that nailed it for me. All of the past history, all of my past hurt, all of my past basic knowledge it all came together and my life did a 180! God came into my heart as a personal realization. Here I was looking for answers outside of me but only God’s Word inside of me has changed me.

God did for me what I could never do for myself. You know it says, once we’re born through the birth canal, but we’re born again spiritually, and that’s what happened to me in my cousin’s delicatessen. Jesus made me kosher, literally! I was changed at that moment in that deli the lights went off. I feel so positive about Jesus, Yeshua that he has been on the throne of my heart. He has been my Lord and Savior for these years and I know that eternal life is mine, not because of any of my own merit, because of my Messiah living in me. It has made all the difference in my life, and I excitedly say, the best is yet to come!

Barri is One for Israel.

Choose Life, Avoid Hell


Please hear my prayer.

  • I admit I'm a sinner in need of a Saviour – [Romans 3:10 / 3:23 / 6:23]
  • I believe in my heart that Jesus/Yeshua is Lord – Jesus Christ was crucified, buried and rose again, paying in full the death penalty for my sin. [Romans 10:9-10]
  • I call upon the name of the Lord and I confess with my mouth Jesus/Yeshua is Lord and I believe in my heart the God raised Him from the dead, so I will be saved. For it is with my heart that I believe, and am justified and it is with my mouth that I confess and am saved. [Romans 10:9-10 / 10:13]
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